We're going to finish out the sessions today. If you will, turn with me to 1 Corinthians chapter 2. 

These are Paul's teachings, and many times people turn to the book of Corinthians for a lot of other reasons in the church other than what you've found here in this chapter of Corinthians. And I hope that you'll always remember the principles that Wade reminded you of; the only way you're going to have enduring friendships is to drop the judgment out of it. That really is the key to our relationship with God. The only way that you can continually feel, and know that you are one with God is to understand that judgment is simply not a part of it. 

I remember several years ago the thing that really brought me to an awakening of my judgments for God. I know that many of you have never judged God. I have been that self righteous, of judging God. 

I had a person who had written a book called 'The Legalist' that was just a profound little book at that time many years ago, over a decade ago, maybe as much as 15 years ago. That book came into my life and just fed my soul to such a degree, I couldn't believe that there was someone who was thinking along these lines and seeing these things, and this book, The Legalist, was a very profound effect in my life, and I've read it over several times, and those who knows me know that I'm not a book reader at all.

But this book that he had written, and I started looking into seeing where he lived, and I found out he lived in Indianapolis, Indiana, which for me was just a little over two hours away.

I looked in the phone book, I asked the operator for the number, and lo and behold, the next thing I knew I had the gentleman on the phone. Or at least, had his wife on the phone.

I made plans to go. I told her what had happened to me, and the process I was taking, I wanted to come visit with her husband. She was very defensive, very leery actually, on the phone, but as I explained to her the benefit and the value I had received from this man's writings, she agreed to let me drive to Indianapolis, and to come and visit him.

When I arrived there at the house, what I found was a real shock to me. I found a man who was reclined in a chair, who was in absolute agony physically, mentally, and emotionally.

And as I shared with him what his book and done for me, he was himself decrying the book, saying that he had been so wrong, and the things that were so wrong about this, because he had lost everything by bringing up this very simple issue of the difference between law and grace.

Now his body was racked in pain, and just a horrible condition, and here was the only person at that time in my life that I had a contact with, someone who had a concept that my mind and my heart was beginning to follow along.

And I was there to collect all of the books they had left, that were out of publication, entitled 'The Legalist', we got them into the hands of as many people as we could, with plans to reprint the book at some later time.

It's a very powerful insight to the very simple understanding of the difference between the mindset of legalism and someone who embraces the grace of God. 

As I went into that home that night, and I saw this precious gentleman, reclined there in his living room, in his chair, who had not been out of that chair for several weeks to months, unable to move, struggling to take breaths, my heart just was crushed within me.

His daughter came over, she was very leery as to my reasons for being there, because they had watched their father and their husband, literally bashed by people whom that I had been formerly associated with, who used to speak in his church, and as this man began to embrace the power of freedom, was completely annihilated, his church no longer existed, he was now secluded to a chair, gasping for breaths of air, with no one from his religious past having any interest in him at all.

Here I was, fifteen years ago, clinging onto every word that he said, finding value and worth, and finding insight, finding encouragement that I really never dreamed that I would ever find.

As we stood around him and we talked, and I tried to tell him how much I valued what he had written, he would shake his head 'no'. He could not receive a compliment, he could not receive it at all. 

We stood there and we talked for awhile, I negotiated with them about a price for the books that they had left, which was only a couple of cases of his books that were only left, and I bought those books.

In those years back, I don't know if any of you had the privilege of reading that book, but we hope to put it in circulation again some day. It's very profound.

They asked me if they would pray for him, because I was the first person that had visited probably in quite some time, that they felt the compassion for him and a true respect for their husband and for their father. 

And when I walked out of that house I prayed for him, and I didn't want to tell them, 'but you don't understand, you don't want me to pray for him, because everybody that I pray for dies. So we really don't want to go down that road'.

I was very much at the end of my 'Word of Faith' days, and still not knowing what to embrace, or what direction to go. Even though I realized that this grace of 
God and freedom was the direction that my path was now being drawn into.

I remember praying for this precious gentleman, and for a fleeting moment, I thought, you know, well, here's someone, who is….they're a pioneer…they're someone who's heart and mind is breaking through, who had the audacity to publish a book and to get it out that …is touching my heart, encouraging me to make the next step forward, even to continue, even teaching what I was teaching. 

And I had such compassion and love for a man that I had never met before. I laid hands on him, his breathing continued to struggle, his agony continued. And he still questioned whether or not he had even done the right thing by writing the book.

When I walked out of that house, to tell you that I was grief stricken would be an understatement. To tell you that I was angry would be a gross understatement.

I got in my van and I started to drive away from that house in Indianapolis to make the 2 ½ hour journey back to where I lived, and without warning, suddenly out of my deepest being, came the most violent anger I've ever felt, and the most profound grief, that had ever come out of my body.

But these two things came out of me all at the same time. I don't know if you know what a grief and an anger coming out at the same time is like. I knew what anger felt like. I knew what grief felt like. I knew what their extremes felt like. But I had never had both emotions come tearing out of me all at the same time. I was literally screaming, cursing, and crying, all at the same time.

Crying with deep grief that there was a gentleman in there whose heart was so precious, that he had had the nerve, had the fortitude, to write down things that in my past, that had brought me to such a conclusion of encouragement to continue on, and yet my laying on of hands didn't help him at all.

It was obvious to me that God wasn't helping him. He was very confused, even about what he had written. Even though I had found it to be one of the greatest things at that time that could possibly have encouraged me in this life.

When I drove away from there, the tears came so hard, the grief came so hard, the anger was so intense that I knew that I couldn't drive.

I got about two blocks from the house, and I pulled my van over to the curb, and I screamed, I beat the steering wheel, I beat the car, I beat the radio. There was nothing within my reach that I was not pounding on, and screaming, and grief tearing out of the very depths of my being.

And I began to curse God. I won't repeat the things that I happened to say. I think most of you would probably know what those would be anyway, so it's irrelevant to go through them.

I thought of every filthy, dirty, low, vulgar name that I could think of to call God. And I asked Him "what the hell do you think you're doing!?' 

And in the middle of this incredible gush of grief and anger, there came to my heart one of the most powerful voices that I have ever heard in my heart in my life. 

And that voice that came to my heart said this in my heart, or to my heart, 'My son, you have received enough grace to understand that I do not judge you based on your performance. When will you receive enough grace to not judge me based on my performance?' 

My entire being went from screaming, raging, anger, and grief, that I felt like I was trapped in a hollow cave. There were sounds echoing in my brain. Everything went vacant inside of me.

That quickly, there was no grief. That quickly, there was no anger. And I was placed in a space in my heart that all I could hear was echos, these words bouncing off my heart, bouncing around in my heart, these words just echoing in my mind, having no realization of what they meant at all. But yet the words coming into my heart and into my mind had had such a profound effect, that it brought to an immediate halt the intense emotional grief, and the anger that was just pouring out of me and rage and cursing and grief all at the same time.

"My son, you've received enough grace to know that I do not judge you based on your performance. When will you receive the grace to understand and stop judging me based on my performance?"

The words were so foreign to me they were bouncing off walls of stone in my heart. They were bouncing off areas that I didn't even know existed in my heart and my mind. They were challenging my thinking in a most profound way that I didn't even know what it was challenging. I just knew it was there. 

When I realized that I could drive again I put my van in gear and started down the highway on that two hour drive and started back home.

On the drive back home the verses out of Hebrews chapter four came to me on how that God led the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt, and He said for forty years long, I was grieved with His people, not because of what they did and did not do, but He was grieved with them because they had tested Him, and tried Him for forty years. 

You see, the children of Israel wanted God to prove Himself, based on His works. Because they were under a doctrine that God was testing them, to prove them based on their works.

And God proved Himself, and you know, that even though God did bring the *12:51* and even though He did bring water out of the rocks, even though He parted the Red Sea…. and suddenly my heart began to sink into a reality that has profoundly effected and guided my heart from that day.

God, you created me in your image. Is that true, God? Yes, I created you in my image. But God, my greatest need as a human being, is to be loved and to be accepted, outside of what I do. Outside of what I'm able to do. And outside of what I have failed to do. Am I in your image? And if I am, is that what you have been looking for too? Is that what you've been looking for God, creator of the universe? God, I know what being alone is like. I know what being isolated and lonely is. God are you trying to tell me that you have experienced that too?

Are you trying to tell me that you prepared this whole thing to prove to me that your relationship with me is not based in works, so that I could turn to you and profess to you and that my love for you is not based on what you can do for me? 

I love you because of who you are. I love you because you accept me. Not because you heal me. Not because you prosper me. Not because you make my path smooth. Even though I know you are capable of all of those things, and I love you, and devote myself to you, as you have devoted yourself to me without my performance

That was a very profound day in my life. A very profound day, when a reality came to my heart, that I am so much like God, that God may very well need the very same thing Mike Williams needs from God. To be loved. To be accepted. Not based on performance.

1 Corinthians, chapter 2. And I brethren, when I came to you, (this is of course, Paul's teaching) I came to you not with excellency of speech or wisdom, declaring unto you the testimony of God.

Most of us go around wanting to give our own testimony. Paul went around giving God's testimony, and what a testimony God had. Wow. How many of you have been impressed with someone else's testimony?

I love other people's testimony. Aren't they encouraging? Well, if other people's testimony encourages you, how encouraging could God's testimony be? 

Paul's whole teaching was around giving God's testimony. I want to go share God's testimony with you. God has a testimony, and I want to share God's testimony with you. This is what He did. This is what He's done. This is what He was seeking for in His pursuit. 

In verse 2 he says ' For I determined not to know anything among you, save Jesus Christ and Him crucified.

Now, in declaring the testimony of God, Paul had to make a determination. If you're going to share God's testimony, if you're going to share God's testimony with people, there is a determination that must be made before you ever begin to share God's testimony. And that is not to know anything among people, save Christ and Him crucified.

What is God's testimony? God's testimony IS Christ, and Him crucified. So then, how do we translate that in sharing God's testimony to people?

You know, if you take into consideration what people do, you will never be able to share God's testimony with those people. Because God's testimony has nothing to do with what people do. God's testimony has to do with what God has done.

This is so convoluted in the church. We think we're validating God by giving our testimony. Folks, it's God's testimony that validates us. Not our testimony that validates God.

That's the reason when Paul got this great revelation of the grace of God, man, he said 'I was a Pharisee of Pharasee's'. If anybody did it right, I did it right'. He said 'but when I came face to face with this incredible, matchless message of the grace of God through Jesus Christ, and I had chosen to know nothing about anyone except Christ and Him crucified, I approached God with my own weakness'. And he said 'I prayed to God three times to take this weakness away from me'. (now, it depends on what church you go to as to what that weakness was….all the way from a bad eye to a sex problem. It makes no difference). 

Jesus spoke to him, and He said 'son, I'm not going to take that weakness away, because it's important for you to know that in your weakness, that's where I am made strong'. 

Paul got such a revelation about this, he went absolutely nuts. He said 'man! Now that I understand where the power of God lies….it does not lie in people's testimony of how they overcome their weaknesses….it lies in the power of God at accepting weak people!….even in their unbelief.'

Paul said 'I'm so excited about this testimony of God', he said 'I'm going to go around the rest of my days…I am so excited about my weaknesses! I'm going to go around bragging about them.'

His conclusion was that if he went around bragging about his weaknesses, then the power of Christ would be with him all the days of his life.

Folks, God's testimony is not how He changes people. God's testimony is how He accepts people, without their change.

Your testimony may be one of change. That's your testimony. It's not God's. God's testimony is in embracing the human race in our weakness, in our unbelief, in our fear, in our lack of change and our inability to change. That's where God's testimony lies. It does not lie in the testimonies of men.

In verse 3 He says 'I was with you in weakness and fear and much trembling.' Oh my, How I can relate to that, in so many ways. For many, many years, I hid from people…for decades one of my greatest weaknesses. One of my greatest weaknesses is standing up in front of people.

Oh, I know you don't see it. It's well hidden. I have in fact had the diagnosis of social panic disorder. The only reason I am able to stand up here in front of you, is because of a couple glasses of wine before I get here.

Side B